There comes a point (usually late at night or right after someone you care about leaves you on read) when your brain starts spinning with questions you wish someone could answer right away.

Why am I like this?

Why can’t I just be normal?

Why do I overthink so much?

Why do I always end up feeling like this?

Why do I get attached too fast?

Why do I always feel like a burden, even when no one says it?

If you’ve often asked yourself such a question, you’re probably exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, and even physically. You’re probably exhausted from carrying patterns you didn’t choose but somehow ended up responsible for.

But listen to this. Most of the time, these questions aren’t about needing a diagnosis. They’re about needing kindness.

They come from the parts of you that:

• feel unsafe unless you're liked or needed

• panic when a conversation feels off

• shut down when emotions get overwhelming

• replay that one awkward moment from 5 years ago

• get tired from pretending that everything’s okay

So what do you do when your mind is going down the why-am-I-like-this spiral?

Here’s one practice I recommend. Not as an instant fix, but as a gentle tool you learn to play around with.

Shift from interrogation to observation.

Instead of why am I like this, try “Hmm. What’s happening inside me right now?”

This simple shift pulls you out of the shame spiral and into curious witnessing. You're not blaming or analyzing yourself. You’re just noticing. No dramatic insight required.

Ask yourself. What triggered this feeling? What do I need right now? Comfort? Clarity? Control? Can I name the emotion instead of trying to solve it?

And if that feels hard, start even smaller.

Place your hand on your chest. Breathe in slowly. Say, “This is hard. And it’s okay if I don’t have it all figured out right now.”

It might sound basic. But these moments rewire the way you relate to yourself. The more you do it, the more natural it feels.

Over time, your inner dialogue goes from what’s wrong with me? to oh, I see what’s going on here.

That’s regulation. That’s emotional safety. That’s healing.

If you're super tired and unsure about how to do this alone, I got you. Book a session with me today. Things might start to feel slightly lighter.